I finally cried

Friends past one month its been a dream for me. A dream I have been having since in was in junior college. Studying in a different country other than India, meeting new people from a different culture, a different way of thinking altogether its been like a wish coming true. The States does leave you a big impression.

But all this while I got so lost in my dreams in my version of this country that I somehow missed out a part of reality. Change is the law of nature; we all know that but we humans always tend to want to resist it to a routine. You always like to sleep with your teddy bear or dress up looking at your own mirror or drink coffee or tea in that same cup that may be someone special gave everyday. You always want that familiarity going atleast some part of it. That is why you always feel more that more comfortable sitting on your couch or sleeping in your bed after a long vacation. And when you move the way I did leave everything behind all your friends, your parents, enemies, bonds, habits and everything else that matters with just 3 suitcases with you that can say its your stuff it sure does make it very difficult.

Yes novelty does exists. It did even for me. But after a while you start feeling you are a kind of out-of-place. I think that’s what people call culture shock. Its actually nothing but your resistance to a complete and a dramatic change in all aspects of your life.

While leaving for the airport me and my sis just made a pact to each other that we would not cry while parting from each other. And from what I know we did keep that promise. But somehow now I began to feel that the tears had just dried from my eyes because I just could not feel sad. It seemed strange to me that though things were not as I had visualized (No complaints about the place, its just the difference between the way I live and the way I want to live). Though I missed my parents and my friends and did most to keep in touch with them through telephone but it wasn’t helping much.

And finally today while I was going through all my writings suddenly I came across my letter to my grandpa and then I just burst in tears. My room mates still don’t know because much of this happened when the lights were turned off and they were already in their dreams of may be India( or some hot chick yea that may be an option. :P) And then I missed everyone whom I had shared my life with from the watchman of my building to the istri-wala, from my TT’s coach to all my teachers. And somehow those dried eyes were all wet and started flowing.

Strange. I never thought I would update such a thing earlier. But now it feels all the more important to share with you this feeling. I am finally relieved and hope will now start to really settle down now.


7 thoughts on “I finally cried

  1. aaaww…. very touching darshan.. made my eyes moist.
    may be i would feel all this when i marry.. remember i had given u lecture on all these stuff just a week before you went to US. !!!!

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